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A New Way to Lose Calories

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  • A New Way to Lose Calories

    Sexercise For Losing Calories:

    For many years it has been noted that sex was actually good exercise but,
    until now, nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual
    activities. Now after considerable research, we are proud to present the results.

    Removing Her Clothing:
    With her consent ............ 12 Calories
    Without her consent ....1,287 Calories

    Opening Her Bra:
    With both hands ............... 8 Calories
    With one hand .................12 Calories
    With your teeth ........... 485 Calories
    With false teeth .......... 1,346 Calories

    Putting On A Condom:
    With an erection .............. 6 Calories
    Without an erection ..... 3,315 Calories

    Sexual Positions:
    Missionary ................................. 12 Calories
    Standing ................................. 178 Calories
    On the kitchen table ..............812 Calories
    Doggy style ............................ 816 Calories
    (With barking & yelping) .............. 826 Calories
    Swinging from a chandelier ........ 2,912 Calories

    Orgasms:
    Real ..................................... 112 Calories
    Fake .................................1,315 Calories

    Post Coital:
    Lying in bed hugging .................. 18 Calories
    Getting up immediately ............... 36 Calories
    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately ..... 816 Calories

    Attempting "Round 2" if you are:
    20-29 years .............................. 36 Calories
    30-39 years ............................... 80 Calories
    40-49 years .............................. 124 Calories
    50-59 years .......................... 1,972 Calories
    60-69 years .......................... 7,916 Calories
    70 and over .......... Don't even think about it

    Dressing Afterwards:
    Calmly .............................................. ..32 Calories
    In a hurry ........................................... 98 Calories
    With her father knocking at the door .....5,218 Calories
    With your wife knocking at the door .....13,521 Calories

    Results may vary.

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