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Dear Illinois Basketball Program,
We noticed your recent collapse against Wisconsin. We also noticed it seems to be a bit of a pattern.
In order to have a good chance at making the NCAA tournament we reckon a winning conference tourney would look great on your resume. Not to say that is an impossible task, but it certainly looks to be an uphill battle from here. There is a distinct possibility that your squad might miss the BIG DANCE. More is the pity.
However, we are here with some good news. The proverbial silver lining, as it were. Should you find yourselves unable to qualify for MARCH MADNESS, there is another option. US! Us being the NIT. We would love to have you. It might be as fancy as the other event, or have all the games televised. The winner might not be held in very high esteem, or have a yearly video game about it. Still, it isn't like kissing your sister, as some have opined. (Maybe like a second cousin? Is that something you would be okay with?)
In any case, we will be like the girl at the DANCE who isn't really pretty, but is better with a nice dress on and has a fantastic personality. While all the real jocks go with the pretty girls who go all the way, we will wait for the guys who don't want it quite as much. Don't get us wrong. We are wishing you luck. But like that girl, we are secretly hoping you don't get too lucky.
The NIT Selection Committee
We noticed your recent collapse against Wisconsin. We also noticed it seems to be a bit of a pattern.
In order to have a good chance at making the NCAA tournament we reckon a winning conference tourney would look great on your resume. Not to say that is an impossible task, but it certainly looks to be an uphill battle from here. There is a distinct possibility that your squad might miss the BIG DANCE. More is the pity.
However, we are here with some good news. The proverbial silver lining, as it were. Should you find yourselves unable to qualify for MARCH MADNESS, there is another option. US! Us being the NIT. We would love to have you. It might be as fancy as the other event, or have all the games televised. The winner might not be held in very high esteem, or have a yearly video game about it. Still, it isn't like kissing your sister, as some have opined. (Maybe like a second cousin? Is that something you would be okay with?)
In any case, we will be like the girl at the DANCE who isn't really pretty, but is better with a nice dress on and has a fantastic personality. While all the real jocks go with the pretty girls who go all the way, we will wait for the guys who don't want it quite as much. Don't get us wrong. We are wishing you luck. But like that girl, we are secretly hoping you don't get too lucky.
The NIT Selection Committee
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