Yes It's True!

[octan21]

In a shocking development the world famous sports bettor Reno has announced his retirement. At his press conference he stated that he now felt the practice of scalping baseball games was immoral.

Furthermore he said that he was converting to Catholicism and was considering becomming a priest. At this moment he is making his first confession. So far he has been in that booth over 12 hours. What the hell is he doing in there anyway?

[reno]

Octan 21, I seriously did contemplate retirement. If you come from an upper-middle class Jewish family like I do, you're expected to become a succesful establishment-type profesional--like a doctor, profesor, scientist, or attorney. Therefore, when I go to big, extended-family get-togethers and reveal my profession as that of a baseball scalper, everyone scorns me. And then, on top of that, sportsbooks all treat me like the scum of the Earth.

Well, the family pressures and the wrath of the sportsbooks all came to a head yesterday, and I finally decided to retire from baseball scalping and try another line of work. And so, I began a new job today--that of a handyman at a Catholic convent.
Anyway, at the end of today I asked the head Mother if I had done a good job, and she said yes, but criticized me for three things.
First, she told me not to hang my baseball cap on the cross; second, she told me not to bathe in the holy water; and third, she told me to stop calling her Mother Shapiro instead of Mother Superior.

Well, I was devastated by her criticisms and quit the job. So, tomorrow it's back to the salt mines as a lowly baseball scalper. What a short-lived and disappointing retirement from baseball scalping!

[Fred]

Reno

Do i remember right? You've been gettin some computer research done preparing for this season? Hopefully you'll be generating some steam from your plays?!

btw go easy on them Catholics -- at least their religion allows them to gamble (i read it some where in the catechism).

My religion is not so keen on it, but i gamble anyway.

[bighands]

Reno, i enjoy your posts here and can understand and respect your family's wishes but the bottom line is that you probably make a larger annual income than your cousins.....plus all the free legal advice..i wish you the best of luck this season, Bighands.

[octan21]

Reno,

Seriously now I suspect that there are some people in your family that are very proud of you. They may not want to admit it though. Think about it. It's much more difficult to become successful in this line of work than it is becoming a lawyer. Anyone with a 110IQ can make it through a four year college. And as far as getting into law school and passing the bar exam then perhaps you need and IQ of 120. No offense Dana!

[Don Best]

-

[Bette Midler]

Reno....

You are my lord and master. Oh great and wise one, please take me under your wing and nurture your wisdom as my respected mentor.

Your leadership has helped to build a small but loyal new "middle" class of players. For although I could never fill your shoes (or shine them), I seek only to one day be able to walk together with you into that great holy shrine, known only as the "girlie bar" of the dieties.

Keep the faith, my friend, and remember, those who seize the middle, will never fall off the edge.

[Ronbets]

reno,
When Sam Brown retired(health)---automatic 1st ballot induction into the Mid/Scalper Hall of Fame. No waiting period just "come on in". I think you need a few more basehits to top that legend.

[FATHER FITZGERALD]

I admire Reno

[reno]

Ronbets, Sam Brown was the greatest. Even though he cost me some money, and caused me to almost get 86ed from the Stardust by Syl, a supervisor who worked under Scott, I have the utmost respect for the man. One of my biggest regrets was that I didn't work for him when given the opportunity. Sam has more money than God, and if I'd worked for him, I'd probably have retired long ago with a ton of loot.

Fred, I can assure that our plays will cause zero steam movement. My partner and I are only going to start with a few dimes a game. And we plan on putting all of our plays in with a private who will match the best numbers on the Don Best Screen. We probably won't begin playing until late May or early June.

Big Hands and Octan21, one of my cousins, Howard, is a world-renowned scholar. He is the head of the education department at Harvard and has written 13 books. I consider myself intelligent and witty, but truthfully speaking, I don't possess a top-end intellect. Furthermore, I'm an idiot in many ways. For example, Sam Brown is just the tip of the iceberg as far as my financial mistakes. If I were that smart, I wouldn't have repeatedly blown money and opportunities. There is a huge chasm between merely intelligent and brilliant, and I'm far from the latter. People in my family really don't scorn me; they simply consider me as weird and far-out. They rightfully perceive me as an immature, self-absorbed 48-year old seeking to escape from conventional reality through boozing, womanizing, gambling, and abstruse Eastern metaphysics.

Dana, thank you. Although I'm more sinner than saint, I do try to take the high road in my dealings with others.

Bette Middler, middlers are truly middle class in the sports betting hierarchy. At the top you've got the great, super-rich players, like Billy Walters and the Poker Players. Just below them you have the ulta-rich BMs. Then, you've got a few players who make a decent living. And next, exactly in the the center of the spectrum, are the middlers--guys like you and me who scratch out a living by hustling for numbers. Beneath the middlers, and completing the hierarchy, are the losers, the semi-squares, and the total squares.