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Royal Review
By Victor Ludorem
The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta just issued a warning and judging from the symptoms, apparently a new strain of virus is sweeping the land and millions of people are being stricken with the malady commonly referred to as SUPERBOWL FEVER. Despite vaccinations of the same old rhetoric, this flu season’s new identified carriers are the New York Football Giants and the Baltimore Ravens, relative fresh blood to spill on the Super Stage. Two lucky rascals who entered the Royal SuperBowl Contest will be guests of Royal Sports at SuperBowlXXXV in Tampa. They defied the odds and prevailed over 200 other contestants. Congratulations to S.D. of Welch,WV. and H.C. of Lake Charles,LA. We’ll see you and salute you at the SuperBowl.
The past weekend was a pretty good one from this side of the fence. The coffers are full once again and we are back on target with our projections. It took a while but hey you guys beat us like a drum for months on end. In one of the season’s larger stands the home dog Giants shellacked the Viqueens-2. This game was a huge blowout of Linda Lovelace proportion, and was not as close as the 41-0 score might indicate. The Gmen, just like against Philly, got off early and kept getting off (see Linda) all over the purple laced sissys from the Land o’Lakes. NY QB Kerry Collins played his game, just like he drives his SUV, unconscious. Just ask MADD or Denny Green-the tub-o-lard for confirmation. NY WR Ike ‘w/o Tina’ Hillard took a Gator sized bite out of the decimated Vike secondary. The heralded Minnesota offense posed no threat to the tenacious Giant Defense. A monumental ass whipping was served up in Big Apple causing Dandy Randy Moss to croon “ if you can fake it there, you’ll fake it anywhere, it’s up to you NY, NY!”
On the Left Coast, the more motivated Baltimore team exposed the Raiders in a 16-3 final. In the past, an old playoff rule of thumb has been a favorite and a dog both cover in the championship games. So after the Gents covered their end of the dog, you should have seen the dough rise on Oakland-6. We were covered up with more teasers than a Bryn Mawr homecoming featuring the Dixie Chicks at halftime. This stout Raven defense gave up “Never more “ than 2 yards per rushing attempt. After watching Ray Lewis play LB it’s no wonder Alcatraz and Leavenworth were found guilty of recruiting violations and his case was dismissed. The game was practically decided when Tony ‘BigHead’ Siragusa pounced on Raider QB Rich Gannon like he was hiding the last french fries on earth. Oakland could only put up a FG but at least it was more than the Vikings could muster.
With no football games this coming week, next week’s installment will chronicle working conditions at an offshore sportsbook. Special note** My boss Wim thinks this column is a waste of time. So we made a wager and I enlist your support. From now until the SuperBowl, any new account opened at Royal Sports who mentions Victor Ludorem or the Royal Review is a vote for freedom, mine. His dumb ass put a line of 3 new accounts stemming from the Royal Review and every account over that total, earns this scribe an extra day off. So in a self-serving effort to help prove him wrong, I will increase your signup bonus by 50% because I need some time off. Call 800-603-6257 and tell ‘em Victor sent you.
By Victor Ludorem
The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta just issued a warning and judging from the symptoms, apparently a new strain of virus is sweeping the land and millions of people are being stricken with the malady commonly referred to as SUPERBOWL FEVER. Despite vaccinations of the same old rhetoric, this flu season’s new identified carriers are the New York Football Giants and the Baltimore Ravens, relative fresh blood to spill on the Super Stage. Two lucky rascals who entered the Royal SuperBowl Contest will be guests of Royal Sports at SuperBowlXXXV in Tampa. They defied the odds and prevailed over 200 other contestants. Congratulations to S.D. of Welch,WV. and H.C. of Lake Charles,LA. We’ll see you and salute you at the SuperBowl.
The past weekend was a pretty good one from this side of the fence. The coffers are full once again and we are back on target with our projections. It took a while but hey you guys beat us like a drum for months on end. In one of the season’s larger stands the home dog Giants shellacked the Viqueens-2. This game was a huge blowout of Linda Lovelace proportion, and was not as close as the 41-0 score might indicate. The Gmen, just like against Philly, got off early and kept getting off (see Linda) all over the purple laced sissys from the Land o’Lakes. NY QB Kerry Collins played his game, just like he drives his SUV, unconscious. Just ask MADD or Denny Green-the tub-o-lard for confirmation. NY WR Ike ‘w/o Tina’ Hillard took a Gator sized bite out of the decimated Vike secondary. The heralded Minnesota offense posed no threat to the tenacious Giant Defense. A monumental ass whipping was served up in Big Apple causing Dandy Randy Moss to croon “ if you can fake it there, you’ll fake it anywhere, it’s up to you NY, NY!”
On the Left Coast, the more motivated Baltimore team exposed the Raiders in a 16-3 final. In the past, an old playoff rule of thumb has been a favorite and a dog both cover in the championship games. So after the Gents covered their end of the dog, you should have seen the dough rise on Oakland-6. We were covered up with more teasers than a Bryn Mawr homecoming featuring the Dixie Chicks at halftime. This stout Raven defense gave up “Never more “ than 2 yards per rushing attempt. After watching Ray Lewis play LB it’s no wonder Alcatraz and Leavenworth were found guilty of recruiting violations and his case was dismissed. The game was practically decided when Tony ‘BigHead’ Siragusa pounced on Raider QB Rich Gannon like he was hiding the last french fries on earth. Oakland could only put up a FG but at least it was more than the Vikings could muster.
With no football games this coming week, next week’s installment will chronicle working conditions at an offshore sportsbook. Special note** My boss Wim thinks this column is a waste of time. So we made a wager and I enlist your support. From now until the SuperBowl, any new account opened at Royal Sports who mentions Victor Ludorem or the Royal Review is a vote for freedom, mine. His dumb ass put a line of 3 new accounts stemming from the Royal Review and every account over that total, earns this scribe an extra day off. So in a self-serving effort to help prove him wrong, I will increase your signup bonus by 50% because I need some time off. Call 800-603-6257 and tell ‘em Victor sent you.
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