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Royal Review
By Victor Ludorem
In light of 12 out of 13 dogs getting there last NFL weekend, please post the following want ad… WANTED: Automated FedEx package opener, not so worried about Anthrax but it’s the paper cuts that mostly concern me. If available, please call Royal Sports.
By and large we won more of the big stands, lost the mid-size ones and won practically all the little decisions along the way. Boston College-11.5, on the wings of a 10to1 ratio of support soared past the arm-Pitt Panthers 45-7. The visitors proved no match once again losing 12 of the last 17 games to the Eagles. BC dominated this fight from the get go as QB Brian St.Pierre, sounds more like a hockey player to me, scored a hat-trick with 3 TD passes. “Sacre-Bleu”!!! cried the Royal linesmaker after this one. Another French-tickler we sat on was in the HHHumphrey Dome where the Michigan St. aerial attack took on the Minnesota ground game. UofM+2.5 ran holes through the suspect Mich St. defense, Gopher-holes in fact, and rallied late with 2TDs to upset the Fartin’ Spartans.
Florida St.-13.5 bounced back from an embarrassing defeat and throttled Virginia 43-7 in Charlottesville. Bettors all rejoiced in the Seminole’s punishment of the Cavaliers and the bookmaker was left with anything but a cavalier attitude after this contest. The biggest game on the board was on the Cornhuskers-24 to –28 depending on how close it got to kickoff. An early Red Raider punt return for a TD set the tone for this shootout. Texas Tech snuck into Lincoln, played hard and got out of town with the cover 41-31, before a happy but poorer sea of red home crowd. Good for Tech, great for Royal.
At the Wild Kingdom Bowl, the Bears+1 accomplished what neither Chicago baseball team could do this year, Pitch a shutout. The new Monsters of the Midway led by MLB Urlacher held Corey Dillon to only 30 yards rushing. Four out of 5 hated this outcome as the Bears skunked the Bengals 24-0 in the battle of zoo animals. Next up everybody’s favorite on this dog day afternoon the Rams-7, after sweeping Gotham City these past two consecutive weeks, waylaid the Jets 34-14. St. Louis remained undefeated while Rams’ Canidate earned the nomination for ‘substitute of the year’ honors with over 230 tandem yards of offensive. Perhaps the Rams could petition Rudolph Gullianni to play against New York’s finest next time they’re in the Big Apple. The big game Sunday was also in the Metrodome (see French tickler) as the Vikings+3 surprised even their mothers.
A 7to1 ratio of Cheeseheads fondued themselves on the Packers, who lost both halves and the game by a count of 35-13. I’ve always wondered what causes all those holes in the cheese.
By Victor Ludorem
In light of 12 out of 13 dogs getting there last NFL weekend, please post the following want ad… WANTED: Automated FedEx package opener, not so worried about Anthrax but it’s the paper cuts that mostly concern me. If available, please call Royal Sports.
By and large we won more of the big stands, lost the mid-size ones and won practically all the little decisions along the way. Boston College-11.5, on the wings of a 10to1 ratio of support soared past the arm-Pitt Panthers 45-7. The visitors proved no match once again losing 12 of the last 17 games to the Eagles. BC dominated this fight from the get go as QB Brian St.Pierre, sounds more like a hockey player to me, scored a hat-trick with 3 TD passes. “Sacre-Bleu”!!! cried the Royal linesmaker after this one. Another French-tickler we sat on was in the HHHumphrey Dome where the Michigan St. aerial attack took on the Minnesota ground game. UofM+2.5 ran holes through the suspect Mich St. defense, Gopher-holes in fact, and rallied late with 2TDs to upset the Fartin’ Spartans.
Florida St.-13.5 bounced back from an embarrassing defeat and throttled Virginia 43-7 in Charlottesville. Bettors all rejoiced in the Seminole’s punishment of the Cavaliers and the bookmaker was left with anything but a cavalier attitude after this contest. The biggest game on the board was on the Cornhuskers-24 to –28 depending on how close it got to kickoff. An early Red Raider punt return for a TD set the tone for this shootout. Texas Tech snuck into Lincoln, played hard and got out of town with the cover 41-31, before a happy but poorer sea of red home crowd. Good for Tech, great for Royal.
At the Wild Kingdom Bowl, the Bears+1 accomplished what neither Chicago baseball team could do this year, Pitch a shutout. The new Monsters of the Midway led by MLB Urlacher held Corey Dillon to only 30 yards rushing. Four out of 5 hated this outcome as the Bears skunked the Bengals 24-0 in the battle of zoo animals. Next up everybody’s favorite on this dog day afternoon the Rams-7, after sweeping Gotham City these past two consecutive weeks, waylaid the Jets 34-14. St. Louis remained undefeated while Rams’ Canidate earned the nomination for ‘substitute of the year’ honors with over 230 tandem yards of offensive. Perhaps the Rams could petition Rudolph Gullianni to play against New York’s finest next time they’re in the Big Apple. The big game Sunday was also in the Metrodome (see French tickler) as the Vikings+3 surprised even their mothers.
A 7to1 ratio of Cheeseheads fondued themselves on the Packers, who lost both halves and the game by a count of 35-13. I’ve always wondered what causes all those holes in the cheese.